Well as it so happens, as soon as I told everyone about this blog, I got too busy to update it. The past few weeks have just flown by and here we are at the end of July. Since we made the decision to adopt back in mid-April, the days, weeks and months have just vanished. I read that the paperwork stage on average takes around 3-4 months to complete. However, I really thought I would be the one to get it all done in a matter of weeks. Ha! That didn't happen, but the good news is that our home study paperwork is done (a major accomplishment) and now I am just gathering the last few documents required for our dossier.
Going through my paperwork this week, I found a list that Martin printed out right after we first decided we were ready to adopt. I had completed a local agency's on-line questionnaire and in response got an e-mail from the agency basically telling us that, based on our ages and number of biological children in our home, we would not qualify for the age child we were requesting. In fact, that agency had very limited options for us. Undeterred, Martin and I did our own research on the Internet and fortunately discovered several countries for which we qualified. So the hard part became picking the one country that was best for our family.
While researching, Martin googled "adoption" and "age" and found this Top 10 list on the Older Parent Adoption blog. (http://older-parent.adoptionblogs.com/index.php) We thought it was really funny and relevant (especially since we heard almost the same questions with each biological child) so I'm going to share it:
Top ten things not to say to a hopeful adoptive parent of a certain age:
Note from Kim: The answers are not our own -- although similar thoughts may have crossed our minds a time or two :0)
10. Are you out of your mind? Well, maybe, but what's it to you?
9. You know you'll be a kajillion-years old when your child finishes his/her PhD dissertation. Believe it or not, most people 40 and over CAN do the math, and have actually done all of the sums many times by the time you've heard about their plans to adopt.
8. Your kid is going to be so embarrassed about you when he/she hits those teen years. Duh! And so will yours, no matter what. Yes, I may be old, but you're ugly, or way uncool, or an absolute abomination... whatever.
7. There's no way you'll have the energy to chase after a pre-schooler at your age. Wanna bet? I've got cool thought here that says I'll be right there when my 2 year-old scrambles out of her diaper and starts with the poop art on the neighbors' carpet ... AND I'll beat the dog to the mess!
6. You'll have to be working until you're seventy-five to keep the kid in Gap and Prada. Just maybe older parents won't be quite so taken with branding our kids. Plus, we might like the idea of some of the retirement account going toward college. Or, and this is a real good one, maybe our kids will have to develop some personal responsibility. Maybe they'll even ... GASP! ... work their way through college. (Is that phrase ever still uttered in the US?)
5. Older people just don't have the patience for kids. Speak for yourself. My fuse was much shorter when I was much younger.
4. What if you die before the child reaches adulthood? That would be very sad, but as far as I can tell, none of us can read our own sell-by dates. Believe it or not, young parents die, too.
3. At your age, the generation gap will be an abyss. Really? And how cool do you think YOU are? Try an hour discussing computers or music with a 13-year-old today, and you'll learn the abyss exists for anyone over 21.
2. Do you think its fair to impose small children on your friends at this stage of their lives? Probably not, but tough. They'll either get in the swing of kidletts ... so to speak ... or learn to order giant martinis and get waxed without me.
And the number one thing NOT to say?
Better you than me, Mate!
If you have anything to add to this list or a better response, we want to hear from you. (For my blog-challenged friends and family ... just click on the word "comments" at the end of this entry where it says "Posted by kimabraham Saturday, July 28, 2007 0 comments", type what you want to say and then click "Publish Your Comment". It's that easy!)
Hopefully, it won't be long until the next update! Before you go, be sure to scroll down to the left and check out the new videos. I love Garrett's front flip off the diving board while holding his nose.